One regret I am determined not to have when I am lying upon my death bed 
is that we did not kiss enough -Hafiz

as i sit on my porcelain toilet
and shit into the ocean

i wonder about that fish i ate last night

when will we stop shitting on each other
and give it to the hungry earth
who wants it most

i'm tired of the care to know myself
i've investigated into smithereens
and what's it good for anyway
if at the end of the day,
you think more than you speak
you dwell more than you laugh
you doubt more than you run

i'd like for a change to lay down
this weight
what am i so scared of anyway?
that if i swim in the pool of my tears
i'll enjoy the company of fish
or more, that they'll enjoy mine

am i really so selfish?
to not see that we
all
enjoy a good swim

is this what it is
that we flounder between the ecstasies of heartbreaking
gaping gasping
want and want and want
of MEANING of TRUTH of LOVE

we purge all masks, all cocktail chatter
all business importance and mundane tasks
who cares about brushing my hair when
THERE ARE PEOPLE IN THE WORLD NOT TAKING THINGS SERIOUSLY?

to then another day remember the importance of a joke
a twitch of a lip, then a run-away giggle
watch out, here comes the full-on cackle
the release is a sick pleasure
how dare we laugh?
how dare we not?